The Junkie and The Block: Jacinta’s Next Stamp Duty Hit

In a dim corner of Treasury Place, Jacinta Ellen — known by her more formal title as Premier of Victoria — is twitching with anticipation. She’s not waiting for a transport plan or an education reform. She’s hanging out for her next fix: a fresh shot of stamp duty.

And who’s her dealer this time? None other than Adrian Portelli, media darling and serial auction spectacle-maker, who last year decided to buy up every single house on Channel Nine’s The Block. Five homes, one paddle, $15.03 million. It was real estate theatre, and Jacinta was front row, drooling over the numbers.

Because in Victoria, it doesn’t matter if the market slows or housing becomes unaffordable. If there’s a buyer, there’s stamp duty. And on Portelli’s purchase? A cool $976,950 injection straight into the arm of the state budget.

But like all good highs, this one’s wearing off. See, Adrian’s plan didn’t quite go as hoped. The Block twist, the drama, the spectacle—it made for great headlines, but not great resale margins. He’s trying to sell. Quietly. Perhaps desperately. And it’s not going well.

Still, none of this matters to Jacinta. As he wriggles to offload the properties, land tax bills of more than $125,000 a year continue to flow. And if another buyer steps in? That’s another hit of duty for the Premier.

It’s a vicious cycle. For buyers, a risk. For developers, a lesson. For Portelli, a hangover.

But for Jacinta?

She’s lapping it up in the corner, eyes glazed over, nodding to Channel Nine as The Block rolls back around for another season. She knows she’ll get another fix. Another million-dollar hit. Another whack of duty on top of inflated property prices driven by the spectacle she loves to watch but would never admit shapes policy.

Because why curb stamp duty addiction when reality TV and high-stakes auctions keep the money flowing?

After all, in the Victorian Treasury… recovery isn’t on the agenda.