If you ever wanted proof that Victorians are a resilient bunch, you only need to look at Melbourne’s west. Because for some reason, people keep moving there in record numbers even though it feels like the entire area is being punished for simply existing.
The Victorian Government barely gives the west a bus stop, let alone a hospital or a train that runs after dark. The crime rate keeps climbing like it is training for the Olympics. The roads are a car park before sunrise. The schools have waiting lists longer than the queue for a Taylor Swift ticket. Yet people keep rushing in like they are lining up for a reward.
And the reward is what exactly. A brand new tiny townhouse wedged between two other tiny townhouses. A twenty minute walk to the nearest patch of grass. A police siren soundtrack. And somehow the price keeps going up because everyone keeps buying the exact same headache from the exact same developer.
It is the great mystery of Melbourne property. Every year the experts say the same thing. Crime is rising. Services are stretched. The west needs upgrades. And every year the buyers respond with. Yes please. Can I have two.
Tarneit is bursting at the seams. Truganina looks like it has been built overnight with a printer. Werribee is now so full that people are considering renting out their front lawns. Yet the more overloaded, congested and unsupported the west becomes, the more popular it gets. You would swear the Victorian Government is standing at the border with a big sign that says. Welcome. No services provided. Enjoy your stay.
Maybe that is the appeal. Maybe people like the thrill. Maybe it is exciting to live somewhere where you cannot be entirely sure what will happen when you walk to your car in the morning. Maybe people enjoy yelling at the GPS because it refuses to find a route without roadworks. Or maybe the real estate agents have simply mastered hypnosis.
Meanwhile prices keep climbing because demand is climbing. And demand is climbing because everyone keeps moving there. It is a perfect circle. A perfect circle of frustration, congestion and brand new estates with street names created by throwing a dictionary into the air.
So why would you move there. Honestly. I have no idea. But people do. In huge numbers. And as long as they keep turning up, the Government will keep pretending services are optional, crime reports will keep growing and the property prices will keep rising like a balloon floating away from common sense.
At this point you have to admire the commitment. Melbourne’s west may not get much, but it gets one thing in abundance. Brave buyers who keep turning up ready for another round with the planner’s whip.
If nothing else, it proves one thing. Victorians really will do anything for affordable housing. Even if affordable slowly becomes not affordable, and the Government services slowly become imaginary.
The west is booming. Crime is booming. Prices are booming. And Victorians are still smiling their way straight into the chaos.
